Oliver Harvey to encourage DIY British Manufacturing with assemble-yourself chef apparel

Oliver Harvey, the UK’s leading manufacturer of chefswear and restaurant aprons, have announced a new range of assemble-yourself chef uniforms to replace pre-assembled apparel.

Oliver Harvey, the UK’s leading manufacturer of chefswear and restaurant aprons, is announcing a fundamental but dramatic change to their business model. From April 1^st 2016, all products will cease to be manufactured in their Dukinfield factory and instead will be sold as assemble-yourself DIY packages. The move is a by-product of our continued success and popularity the world over, offering a premium range of chefs wear and aprons designed and manufactured in Great Britain.

Demand for our apparel is so high that the production staff are struggling to meet their targets, working long, unsociable hours to make sure supply meets demand and that all orders are ready to be despatched the following day. The idea is that a DIY assembly system would enable the use of our trusted, loyal customer base as a substitute to our manufacturing operations, reducing the need for concepts such as “effort” and “work” among our staff, and generally improving standards of laze throughout the company.

The new model has been considered by many suitors to be a clone of Scandinavian powerhouses IKEA, whose flat-pack furniture solutions have rocketed them into folklore as one of the most renowned names in Europe.

Our Managing Director Ian Mitchell stated, “while this is quite a departure from what our customers have become acclimatised to in the past, we feel that the move will make our range even more exciting – after all, look how well IKEA do, it’s not like anyone finds assembling their furniture frustrating, is it? We want to be at the very forefront, the pride of British manufacturing; what better way to do that than by getting everyone involved?”

Occasionally, some packages will contain fabrics which clearly aren’t cut the same size as each other, more buttons than you could possibly need and nowhere near enough thread, just to keep you on your toes. Pockets and detailing may or may not be included, depending on whether our packaging team can be bothered to chuck something in there or not. What will remain constant is the clear and concise 48 page assembly manual, complete with diagrams.

As a sewing machine is not included, you are expected to identify your own solutions to the issue of stitching tens of thousands of stitches by hand.

“They’re all creative people, I’m sure they can figure it out. In fact, we believe Chefs across the UK will positively relish the challenge it presents,” Mitchell added.

As a result of this major change, further sweeping alterations will be made to our factory and product range.

Firstly, all of our chef jackets will be renamed in line with IKEA’s naming policy; as their fabrics are named after traditional Swedish female names, our jackets will be renamed after British female names, such as Doris, Sharon and Babs.

Secondly, our factory will be completely renovated and repackaged into a labyrinth of purposeless showrooms complete with assembled clothing, which is not available for purchase, because that would be too easy.

Finally, there will be an on-site café selling all of your favourite British classics including, but not limited to, “fish” and chips, deep fried Mars bars, Haggis, worryingly tangy football ground pie and Grandma’s special apple crumble.

To maintain our UK manufacturing mantra, Oliver Harvey packages will initially only be available to UK customers, as to not promote the idea of cheap labour in other countries.